Banning is Branding

You need branding ...
get it banned ,,,,
simple ...

What Came First ?

Literally this question troubled me from the time i remember ...
we are humans, we are in earth , earth is just a planet , among trillions of stars and galaxies ,
and from where it all started ?

this is one fucked up question .i usually think all these kind of wierd questions in te night .
cause it gets me sleep ... u can let ur imagination float in no where ....

God created all these ? Then How God formed ?
I am a believer of God ! I worship God ...
so I am not trying to proove anything here .... but just strange question !!
Its true that i have not got the answer ....

Big Bang Theory ....
ok what before that ?
nothing is impossible !!

yes .... nothing is impossible ....
so there could be no such answer as nothing ....
but there should be nothing !!

what came first ?

The Unwanted Visitor - Death

it was a long time ago ,

when i was in school …around 3rd or 4th standard !!

i was in kerala that time ….

a small boy who sits on the petrol tank of bike and gets driven all the way to school by his dad .

wearing a half pant or rather called a trouser , i usual get my legs heated up by the heat of the metal tank …

i remember a lady staying in a nearby house . she was of my mother's age that time .

she was a school teacher and she had a daughter of my age …

she likes me a lot . when ever she passes by my house , she stops by and gives me a toffee and pats on my head…

(i am sure she would not have liked me if she was my teacher :) )

i liked her too :) for that i have not seen someone who is a teacher and loves kids !! and more important , i get my toffee almost every day …

it was  a routine and it became like my right to get the toffee each time she see me or i see her …

days went by and i dint see her ….

i asked my mom one day about her …

i don't remember what my mom replied that day 

but i started forgetting her as days passed by….

she was no more coming that way and giving me toffee ….

fews days or months later ,  i was coming back from school and a stranger passes by and smiled at me …..

he was bald and lean and  he was actually accompanied by another fat man …..

i know this man …….

the fat man who accompanied the bald fellow was the husband of the lady who used to give me toffees

that day when mom came back from office, i asked her what i saw .

who is that and why was he holding another bald man ?

she said to my shock that the bald man i saw was actually the lady who used to give me toffee and she got cancer …

i knew it was not easy for me to understand what really happened …

i had many questions like , why she shaved her head ?

why would some one do like that to themselves ? 

i know that mom really tried to tell me what it is , but i was not convinced !!

what is cancer ?

how would people loose hair when cancer comes ?

what is this ?

i felt a little sad the next following days (now not for the toffee , but for her )

because when she smiled , the last time she saw me , i dint smile back , as i thought its some strange balm man smiling at me !!

i walked to her house .

i was not really bold to knock at the door , as i thought she would be angry seeing me , as i dint smile last time (i was silly as i was a kid)

i remember very clearly me going till that house but not knocking the door .

once or twice i saw one or two people standing outside the house , and when asked where the aunty is , they would say she is sleeping or something ….

few weeks back , i saw a crowd outside her house and i came to know that she is dead .

life is not so easy all the times , right ?

the most important thing in life is relationships ….

it could be anyone - friends , family , relatives, teachers ,  anyone …..

its like how much happiness you got from someone in your life time, u will face that much pain all together when you loose them !!

death is a strange visitor

It comes as a surprise to our life and takes us leaving all our life behind there ….

there are no doors which can be closed n front of that visitor .

everything right now is right now .

there could be no later .

we can always know the first , but we never know the last.

we will never know the last time we see someone …..

its better to love everyone and expect nothing back ….

happy to live the moment to write this :)

when i realise now that the old man was the same lady i used to see and get toffees from daily ,

but i dint smile back when she smiled the last time , its something not explainable 

it doesn't change anything or it is not much of sense here …

But i know that life is like a movie played with no fast forward , rewind , pause buttons and we are audience glued to seats and when the movie ends , it ends for ever :)

crazy :)

The Beauty of Dreams

In dreams

see people who are no more with us .
meets new people .

marry girl friend without any family fights .
kids !

getting the dream job

unable to run fast to escape from getting killed
everything moving fast other than us

flying (literally)

filthy rich ....

INCEPTION IS REAL :P

FTII student drowns in pool at institute

FTII student drowns in pool at institute.

When I got this news , I felt terribly sad .
It was around his course completion party .

Spent the last 5 years in FTII is nothing small .
5 days in this campus itself is a memory which will last for ever !!
5 years in the campus with lots and lots of dreams , and good friends around .

Its sad .

May his soul Rest in Peace and let God give strength to his family and friends .
He lived and died in FTII :(

The Kick

Wonder if God gave me the power to keep the kick I get when am drunk , even when am not drunk !!
I dont know how this liquid plays woonders

It kicks the most beautiful art in you
It shows you a new you
And it make you feel the real hidden life in everything
Music is never better , Sound is fading and your heart listens
Basically u start using your heart to listen

Wow


I dont feel bad to get the name as addicted ...
As i love to be :)

Real Dream

Real Dream is the one which wont let you sleep 

Welcoming MacBook Pro and ProTools HD

Students Discount helped me atleast

Getting my hands on a mac was a dream ...
And running a proTool HD is under the process :)

Herez my new mac :)

My Life at FTII starts by 30th August 2012

Since i wrote the blog :

http://myftiidream.blogspot.in/2012/05/ftii-2012-entrance-exam-questions-and.html

I got many friends who commented and supported through mails and chats to move forward towards my dream .It was a wonderful time with everyone and it was very inspiring .
I take this chance to thank each and everyone who stood with me , and will stand hereafter in my life ..
And also my parents and my dear ones who supported as well as critisesed me over my activities :)

This is a great moment in my life and I would like to mention some very special people in my life who inspired and helped me do something in my life: My parents and teachers,My sister,relatives and friends,Salini,Ajayan,Subramani,Arun,Aakash Kulkarni, Vipul, Manish , Amar and Rakesh Anand !!
Be with me in the path ahead .

Today I got the mail from Institute that the classes for this year will start by August 30th and am super excited for this moment !!
Life is nothing without some good people to share it with , and am lucky that I got many ...

Love you all .....

What ever it takes .........

This part of writing gives me real happiness. I am going to express a true lot of incidents and accidents in my path towards finding myself !!
My Life was an unplanned trip. Always ends up with something less or more !!
But it really worked for me . It gave me a hidden truthful lesson to get a prepared trip !!
Now I believe that am walking though a planned path . A seat in the great Film and Television Institute of India, Pune for Sound recording Course . A supportive group of people around, a good vision and a 5 year plan in heart , a laptop to scribble all I want and a place to post all my thoughts

But to reach here , it took a lot out of me !!
But before I talk a lot about myself , let me tell you something very clearly .
Even now , what I say or claim as a planned path is a planned path for just me
For my relatives and even for my mother , it’s the most stupid decision I have or anyone could possible take in ones  life . But I have been a stupid for myself all these years , until now !!
So stupidity is subjective and as I am writing here , I am subjective over my side

I always had a coffee and chat with the toughest times ….
It gives a one to one dealing with how you can be more crazier !!
Days just went and I loved the craziness in me .
I started understanding that I am not dead and I have something in me to live for …
A deep passion , like we heard in the movie INCEPTION !
An idea …. An Idea , once implanted into ones mind, is soo powerful that it can change a lot !



I have a kid within me yelling out for a lot different things .
Having nothing was always my feel , when everyone described me as the perfect life with everything
A day or the other I ask myself , is it worth to do what ever we want ?
If it makes you happy and feel like living , yes !
If it makes you feel good , and do more, yes ….
I had unhappy days of doing all sort of things which never wabted to do, but did .
Starting from changing of many schools in my life (I finished my schooling in a total of 4 schools), followed by getting into engineering college instead of an arts of college , then going to a regular job sitting in front of computers and not doing anything creative at all ….

Life was horrible . But in between I tried to do something which makes me feel good.
Watching movies always was a medicine for me .
I got my queen of my life , and I met her during my first job in software .
The only reason I have to say that I am happy about my first job !

Then it was her inspiration to find a better me in me !
She found my interest in music and sound recording .
It was during my first job in a company called UST Global, when I was a little active in singing, composing and recording songs and sounds , that I found my good interest lies in Sound recording .
I bought a Philips Dynamic Microphone – SBC MD150 from Music world and a sennheiser headphones !!I dint know what to do with it , but I wanted to record professional quality sound .
I bought some headphones , and some wires and joined a guitar class .
I recorded some sounds , but it dint really come up well.
Noise was every where !!
Then I decided to do something for this .

Then came FTII …..
A new chapter in my life .
It was on 2008 …
I was researching in internet over this , and she pointed out FTII is the best place to learn about sound recording !!
Then I did some research and understood what she said is right !!
But we came to know the sad news that just 2 days back they closed the intake of forms for that year . Thus we missed the deadlines …
Then waited for one long year , and gave my first attempt , years went on and many things happened in my life – Both good and Bad ….
And this year , I am getting into FTII .

Finally the question is
Are you happy ?
Yes , I am …..

That’s all it takes and matters
Do what ever you want and what ever it takes,
happiness is all it matters .....

Story is not over yet ....
Finding oneself is a beautiful process and it goes on ......